My husband, Gary, did two tours in Vietnam flying Huey gunships. War affects people in many different ways. The way a person views life after going to war is forever changed. When you're living at the edge of death's door every moment, life takes on a new meaning.
One thing I noticed about Gary was that he has a very different sense of humor. He never got bogged down with the minutia of life. When I worried over every little thing, he would say to look at the bigger picture. He found positives when I saw negatives. In solving problems that seemed overwhelming to me, he would tell me to pick up the rock, look at it from one angle, then put it down and think about it. Then, pick it up again and look at it from a different angle. It would cause me to think and solving the problem became clearer.
Gary finds humor in the oddest things. He refuses to quit at anything and seems to always find a way to solve a problem. But that humor can put him at odds with people sometimes.
I recall we were living in Northport, NY which is on Long Island right on the harbor in a lovely 4 story, atrium style home. You could overlook the main part of the house from the upper floors. One day, his old army buddy, Fred, called and was coming for a visit. Fred was Gary's wing man in Nam. Gary was Sidewinder 2 and Fred was Sidewinder 3. They hadn't seen each other in quite a long time.
It was Saturday night, and I had made dinner reservations for the three of us at a very nice restaurant. It was an atrium-type architecture, and we were seated on the upper floor by the railing with a very nice view of the two floors below. The guys were telling stories and getting in to their cups a bit, so I offered to be the designated driver. Just before dessert, Gary disappeared and out of nowhere, returned to stand beside our table with a short-handled plunger in his hand. I looked at him confused, but Fred caught on right away and stood up beside Gary. Gary turned the plunger up-side-down and began singing, "Dump-da-dump, da-dump, da-dump.... You've lost that lovin' feeling, oh, that lovin' feeling, you've lost that lovin' feeling, now it's gone, gone, gone, whoa-oh."
I was stunned, shocked and surprised because everyone around us on our floor was singing along. Everyone knew the words and the song got louder. And looking below, the majority of the diners on the floors below us were chiming in as well! Yes!!! The song from TOP GUN with Maverick and Goose, but this time it was Sidewinder 2 and Sidewinder 3.
It didn't take long before a waiter rushed over to our table, but by that time, everyone was laughing and singing along. What could he do? I think we were politely asked to leave as this was a very fine dining restaurant and you weren't supposed to have fun. Bet those diners will remember that night with their own stories to tell.
I drove my two pilots home and they decided to sit up for a while, so I bid them good night and went to bed.
Our bedroom was on the second floor with a metal railing in the hall overlooking the living room. I was drifting off to sleep when suddenly I thought I heard a crash. Then shortly after that was another one. I hurried out of bed to peer over the railing down at Gary and Fred. There they were sitting on the floor around the coffee table covered in glasses of various sizes and making toasts to those that never made it back from Nam. As they toasted each one by name, they threw their glasses in the fireplace. I silently watched for a moment and decided to leave them to their memories.
In the morning when I came downstairs, coffee was already on and Gary was cooking breakfast. And over in front of the fireplace was Fred sweeping up all the glass. They both wished me a very happy good morning. I never said a word about the previous evening and neither did they. We had breakfast, and Gary was leaving on a two-week business trip to the UK, France and Germany, and Fred was returning home. I drove them both to the airport wishing them both a safe trip.
About a week later, two very large wooden crates arrived at the house. Upon opening them up, I found a set for 12 of Wedgewood English china. In the other box were three crystal decanters with assorted crystal goblets and champagne flutes. That was Gary's way of apologizing. Included in the big box was a beautiful hand-written note expressing his love.
No Siree! Maverick and Goose don't hold a candle to Sidewinder 2 and Sidewinder 3!