Throughout my career, I have needed to take time off from music, take a break from touring and get back into a normal family life. I recall one such time in particular. We lived in Chicago. I was coming off a long tour, the band dropped me off at home around 3:00am and continued on with the bus back to their home. I went inside, and there on the table was a dozen salmon pink long stem roses with a hand written note from Gary that said, "Welcome home, Star!" He has always been the most romantic and thoughtful person throughout our lives and after all these years still brings me flowers.
The next morning, he said he wanted me to rest for at least two months. I was pale and underweight. (Can't say that these days!). So, I took time resting, reading and sitting by the pool. He would come home after work and join me and ask me to teach him songs and to play the guitar. It was all in fun, so I obliged with pleasure.
He came home for lunch one day and handed me a napkin with a song written on it that he said he had recently written while flying, and would I help him put music to the lyrics. I did, and that song was Gifts which we recorded at a later time. Life was good and I was happy.
After the first month, I was feeling rested again, and started to get antsy. After the two months passed, I was really getting bored with sitting around. One day, I was complaining how bored I was, and Gary said not to worry, that he had a surprise for me. He got us a gig.
"What! I exclaimed. Who's us?"
"You and me," he said.
"Where?" I asked.
"At the Holiday Inn lounge," he replied.
I was coming off main stages and he wanted us to play at a lounge!
"Come on," he said. "It will be just for fun."
This was on a Wednesday night. And when I asked him when we were supposed to start, he said, "Friday night."
I was flabbergasted! I needed time to set up a show, create a set list, decide what to wear, how I wanted to set up the stage. All the things the roadies and the band did for me, I now had to think about. So, I asked to go look at the room the next day. I wanted to get a feel for the space. It was only going to be "for fun" but in my world, it had to be perfect.
He came home during the afternoon on Thursday and we went to the Holiday Inn so he could show me the room. When I walked in and looked around, the first thing I noticed was that there was no stage, and I said to him, "There's no stage!" He told me not to worry, and that there would be a stage by Friday night.
Friday night came and I was nervous for the first time in a while. I walked in, and there to the end of the room was a riser about the size of a postage stamp that stood about 5 inches from the floor. My stage! OK. We can make this work, I thought.
Gary got all of the equipment set up, I had put new strings on both of our guitars and we were all set.
I walked on stage and put on my guitar, waiting for Gary. He was out at a table talking away with some of the customers. It was time to start! Punctuality!! He finally sauntered up on stage with a bottle of beer in one hand and smoking a cigarette. He set the beer up on top of the speaker and slid the cigarette on the end of one of his guitar strings what was sticking out from at the end of the guitar neck. He looked over and me and was ready to rock and roll.
Shocked, I said, "There's no smoking and drinking on my stage."
He smiled at me and said, "Well, this half is mine, and there's smoking and drinking on my half."
Oh, no, I thought. This isn't starting out very well.
We started our show, and more people began coming in. Gary forgot the words to some of the songs, but filled in quickly with a joke and kibitzed with the audience. The audience seemed to like it, but I wasn't having fun. This wasn't professional. This wasn't perfect. Everything that had been drummed into me from my Nashville team was screaming at me that this wasn't the way to put on a show. Still... the audience seemed to enjoy it.
I don't know how Gary put up with me during those initial nights, because at almost every break we took, he got a lecture! He would just smile at me and tell me not to worry, but never objected to anything I threw at him. He just continued to do things his way.
After that first night, management asked if we could come back again on Saturday. I was so surprised, but he told us the room was doing well, so we agreed. The audience continued to grow and we added Thursday nights as well. It didn't take very long before our room was packed and people were sitting on the floor in front of us.
One cold Saturday morning during the winter, I woke up with a very bad case of Laryngitis. I said to Gary that we would have to cancel the performance for that night. But he quickly said we didn't and that Paula, our daughter, could come in and take my place. I would be there to play guitar. She knew all of my songs. So I agreed.
That night, I watched as the two of them had such a great time teasing with the audience, making jokes and just having a jolly old time feeding off each other's lines. Gary sang a song that was recorded by Larry Gatlin called I've Done Enough Dying Today which Paula harmonized on, and they received a standing ovation, and I hadn't uttered a word, hadn't sung one song. I was very proud and pleased for them even though the show wasn't perfect. Why had the audience liked them so much? There were mistakes I could see all though the night, but the audience didn't seem to notice at all.
At the end of the night, we went into the restaurant and had coffee and we talked. Gary gently explained that since I had gone to Nashville, I had forgotten how to have fun with my music. I was so worried about everything being perfect that I didn't even enjoy it anymore. He said that I needed to relax and come back to my roots. And he was so right. I took his advice and things changed for me. It didn't have to be perfect. What was important was that the audience needed to be entertained, and that night, they sure were.
No... everything doesn't need to be perfect.